Introduction
In this candid conversation with Lisa, she reflects on her journey through the Berkeley Haas School of Business. From an initial attraction driven by the campus's allure to confronting the harsh realities of a competitive academic environment, Lisa's experience underscores the importance of aligning one's motivations with authentic self-expression rather than external validation. Her story highlights the necessity of resilience, strategic thinking, and prioritizing self-acceptance over college acceptance. This approach ultimately fosters personal development and leads to true academic and professional success.
Initial Attraction and Disillusionment at Haas
Key Takeaway: Lisa’s initial attraction to Berkeley Haas was driven by its prestigious reputation and the aesthetic appeal of the campus, compelling at first glance. However, the absence of a deep personal connection or a true understanding of the business program’s reality led to significant disillusionment. This story underscores the critical importance of understanding one's motivations and the realities of academic programs when choosing a college to avoid disillusionment.
Feiyang: "Hey Lisa, thanks for taking the time to chat with me! For starters, where did your initial attraction to Berkeley and Haas come from?"
Lisa: "Back in high school, I did this program called Elite, which was as pretentious as it sounds. It was literally just to help you get into schools and perfect your application without really thinking about the why, like why am I applying here and understanding that. So that’s the context I had coming into college and Berkeley as well.
I toured the campus for Cal Day, and people gave me really glossy depictions of Haas. I was like, I love the campus. I want to be here. It’s gorgeous, right? I can’t deny that. As a freshman, that’s what sold me on going there. I was sold on this promise that I wouldn’t even know if I was going to fulfill because you have to apply to Haas when you’re a sophomore. So it wasn’t going to be until two years later that I would see if I could even have the chance of getting in. I thought, maybe a great institution. But I was so shattered when I found out that business is completely different from what I thought it was going to be."
F: "That sounds really tough. How did you deal with that realization?"
L: "I don’t know if Jason (our mutual friend) told you this, but coming out of my freshman year—I’m not a big writer, and I’ve never written an essay just for fun. But I wrote an essay about why I didn’t like Haas. Oh, wow. Yeah, I know, it’s crazy. I never sent it to anyone or shown it to anyone; it was just for me to document my process. It was almost like trauma. Even when I got this request from Jason, I almost forgot. I’ve forgotten a lot about my experiences because, as a natural response to a lot of hardship, you kind of just gloss over it. So I was just reviewing my notes because prior to this, I organized them into a few points. I’ll start chronologically, I guess."
Club Competitiveness and Recruitment Experiences
Key Takeaway: Lisa found the Berkeley business community's club environment highly competitive, with rigorous recruitment processes. This environment, while challenging, was crucial in her development and adaptation to the competitive nature of business professions. Her experience illustrates the need for resilience and strategic thinking in navigating such high-pressure environments.
F: "So what did you do to navigate this disconnect? Did you find other sources of support?"
L: "In order to recruit for these jobs or internships, I had to rely on the help of the Berkeley business community, like clubs. Basically, a lot of clubs. And all of them are kind of the same in the sense that they’re very competitive. You get maybe 200 applicants, and then they funnel you all down through several rounds of processes, networking, actual interviews, case studies, until you get a class of maybe five to ten people. The acceptance rates are really low. People do end up in places as long as you’re likable, and you’re not dumb, I guess. But I was stressed about this because I had no business experience coming into college. Being thrown into an interview environment for a club was ridiculous to me. I struggled a lot just to accelerate. It took me a full year just to get acclimated to the competitive environment. Even then, I’m still not recovered because I think that’s why I have a lot of issues. I felt so judged by people that were not even two or three years older than me."
F: "That sounds incredibly stressful. How did you manage to keep up with everything?"
L: "Yeah, because you’re really being judged. Being on the other side of the process now, it’s almost like a tinder system where you’re swiping people, like 'Oh, I had a bad conversation with him.' Then you get down to your final pool of people. That’s less of a Haas issue and more of an extension of the environment they’ve created by not providing resources early enough. You have no choice but to go to these clubs, or else you don’t recruit well. It’s hard to break into a lot of the jobs that are more like investment banking or consulting. For context, I’m also working in banking right now. It’s the same job that I recruited for out of my sophomore year. I did my internship during my junior summer, and then I fortunately got a return offer to come back. I’m in New York right now, so it’s been great."
F: "You got the ball rolling for the conversation, and it's a great start. Just to reflect a bit, it seems like there's a bit of a disconnect between Berkeley Haas and the rest of UC Berkeley. They’ve recently allowed students to apply for Haas undergrad straight from high school, but it sounds like it still doesn't make much sense for someone like you, who already had a full-time offer before joining Haas. What was that like for you? Did you feel different from your classmates?"
L: "I think I'm in a unique bucket of people. Anyone that does finance usually recruits around their sophomore year. Now, working literally in finance, I see the timeline being pushed up every year. It's crazy. They’re going to start recruiting freshmen soon, I swear. When I was a junior, I felt secure because I had a job. So everything I did was just focused on learning and seeing if Haas classes would prepare me for my next career step or maybe becoming an entrepreneur. That’s where I shifted my focus.
During my first couple of years, I didn’t prioritize myself much. I joined a dance organization and a couple of other interest-focused clubs. That’s kind of how I shifted—my part two of my college experience. I didn’t feel out of place, though, because I understood everyone was on the grind. In the background, a lot of people were still recruiting for other non-finance jobs like consulting or marketing. By senior year, everyone had their jobs. It didn’t come up much in conversation because Haas is very separate from recruiting. They never gave us any job opportunities."
F: "It sounds like Haas didn’t really integrate with your recruiting process. How did you handle that separation?"
L: "Exactly. Haas hosts job fairs with different companies, but I never attended a single one because I had already recruited for a job. I don’t know how useful it was for other people, but it wasn’t useful for me because I already had a job. For my last two years, I focused on helping younger kids in my club recruit into banking. Haas was a totally different entity for me. It didn’t mix with my recruiting process at all."
F: "That makes sense. Given that, it’s helpful to know about the investment banking recruiting timeline. That’s really early."
Academic Rigor and Pressures at Haas
Key Takeaway: Haas' competitive academic culture, characterized by a demanding grading system, significantly impacted Lisa's educational experience. This environment often led students to resort to unethical practices to maintain high grades, revealing the intense pressures that can pervade top business programs.
F: So, you mentioned the competitive environment at Haas, especially regarding recruiting. What about the academic side? I’ve heard terms like 'Haas hole' and 'snakes.' How competitive would you say it is within classes?"
L: "The term 'Haas-hole' and 'snakes'—yeah, I think that’s pretty accurate, but I don’t blame the people. It’s a product of the system. Back when I was a student, the curved grading system was the biggest issue. There are two types of classes: super technical ones where the average grade is like 30-40%, and it’s curved. A 35% becomes an A, but those classes make you feel really dumb. Then there are the humanities of business classes, like leadership or marketing, with very few assignments. If you complete them, you get full points, but the midterm and final, which are short, determine your entire grade. Missing a single question can drop you from an A to an A-."
F: "That sounds incredibly stressful. It’s no wonder students resort to unethical means to keep up."
L: "Yeah, the emphasis on perfection is immense. Students cheat because they feel they have no choice. I had people cheat off me, and almost everyone I knew did it. People faked illnesses to get out of midterms to cheat online. The pressure is immense because you can’t miss any questions. And then you get the term 'Haas hole' because people are under so much stress. Their true personalities come out under pressure. I don’t even like to say I’m a business major; I lead with education instead."
F: "I totally understand. It seems like the system itself creates this intense pressure."
L: "Exactly. The grading system forces students to fight for their lives. People look at business majors and think it’s easy, but the average grade is a B. The GPA cutoff for my firm is 3.75, which means you have to be in the top 25% of Haas. It’s unattainable for many, and they’re literally fighting for their jobs and to provide for their families. It brings out the worst in people, and a lot of it is due to the system we’re put in."
F: "That is really rough. I’m sorry you and others had to go through that."
L: "It’s all good. For me, I continued because I cared about learning. I had a job offer waiting for me even if I flunked, but I can only imagine the pressure on others to resort to things they’re not proud of."
Positive and Negative Classroom Experiences
Key Takeaway: Lisa's academic experiences at Haas highlight the profound impact of project structure and group dynamics on learning outcomes, demonstrating that practical, collaborative projects with real-world applications and constructive feedback can significantly enhance educational experiences compared to poorly structured group assignments with rigid evaluations.
F: "We don't have to get into it too much, but quickly, what made your best group project experience great and the worst one bad?"
L: "I'll start with the bad one. It happened in my freshman year in a class called UGA 10, which is the only Haas prerequisite all students have to take. It's everyone's nightmare. The class covers different units like finance, marketing, leadership, and operations, with a group project throughout the semester. We had no choice in our group members, which isn't always bad, but we had to rank each other weekly on participation, engagement, and acumen. It felt awkward because none of us knew each other, and it didn't help build a good bond."
F: "Ranking each other weekly sounds intense."
L: "It was. On top of that, our performance as a team determined 20% of our grade. If your team was at the bottom, you'd get a significantly lower grade. I had a teammate who didn't care at all, which dragged us down. The entire structure was a nightmare. The group project made up a big portion of the grade, and the rest was based on tests with only 20 questions each. It was confusing and unfair. I wrote to my TA about the group mismatch, but they said it was too late to change. Everything was virtual due to COVID, making coordination even harder. That was my worst group project experience."
F: "That sounds really tough, especially during a virtual semester."
L: "Yeah, but then I had the best group project experience in my senior year. We had to create our own business and build a plan from the ground up. One member had an idea for a clothing app, and everyone had different unique skills. We met in person, which made a big difference. We ended up with the highest score in the class. The project was well-coordinated, and everyone took responsibility for their part. We even celebrated each other's birthdays and stayed friends. It was like the Avengers—everyone brought their strengths to the table."
F: "I'm glad you had that positive experience. It sounds like the second project was much more practical and rewarding."
L: "Absolutely. I learned way more from the second project. It tested our creativity, and we got regular feedback from the teacher. It was a completely different experience compared to the first project, which was more like a simulator without meaningful feedback."
F: "It sounds like the second project was so much more practical, with iterative feedback that kept you motivated."
L: "Exactly. Both projects were about simulating businesses, but the second one felt real because we were actually practicing being a CFO, for example, rather than just pretending. It made a huge difference."
Reflections and Regrets
Key Takeaway: Lisa's reflections reveal that her Berkeley Haas journey would have been different had she known what she knows now, emphasizing that her decision to join the business fraternity negatively impacted her mental health and personal development, and suggesting that she might have chosen a different path if given another chance.
F: "Yeah, totally. So I just have one last question before I let you go. Thank you so much for staying on longer.
I'm curious, knowing your whole Berkeley journey now, if you were to go to Berkeley again and do Berkeley Haas undergrad, is there anything you would have done differently to prepare yourself for that journey? Or just in general, what, if anything, would you do differently?"
L: "I don't think I would have done business at all, actually. It's crazy how much of my life is still impacted from the decision I made back on Cal Day in 2019. That day inspired me so much that I learned about investment banking and thought, 'I don't think it's for me,' but here I am, five years later, and it's my whole life. If I had a different small idea back then, maybe my impact on others and my social impact would be different. I'm happy now, but maybe I would have taken a different path. Reflecting on my entire Berkeley experience, it was very impacted by joining a business fraternity, which is notorious for being the worst breed of people in existence. I didn't know that coming in."
F: "Wow, that's quite a strong statement. What made you feel that way about the business fraternity?"
L: "I joined out of a desire to get into Haas, but it turned out to be a bad environment for me. I didn't know what pledging meant and was too stubborn and insecure to seek advice. I went through with it, but it hurt me mentally. That's why I have a stutter when I do public speaking now. I wrote another essay about why I didn't like the business frat. Both experiences, Haas and the fraternity, affected each other. My parents said I got unlucky or made a bad decision by joining that fraternity. The pandemic hit right after I joined, locking me into this path. It didn't give me a chance to explore anything outside the business community until it was too late. By junior year, I tried to reclaim my creative side, but those were just hobbies at that point."
F: "It sounds like it was a really tough situation. Do you think the fraternity and the pandemic combined made it harder for you to find yourself?"
L: "Absolutely. I lost myself a bit. I love music and the arts, and I'm trying to merge business and music now. I was drawn to the dark side of business because it seemed appealing at 18 or 19. Knowing what I know now, I might not have chosen business or Berkeley again. I even advised my sister not to go to Berkeley. Unless you're dead set on investment banking or consulting, it can be tough. The business fraternity environment wasn't good for someone insecure and trying to figure out who they are."
F: "It sounds like the fraternity environment was very limiting. Were there only a few paths you could take?"
L: "Yes, the club environment presents you with two career paths: consulting or banking. Anything else is seen as failure or weird. That stigma is still in my mind. Joining a club or fraternity feels like joining a cult. It was so predetermined, and I had no freedom in choosing anything. COVID made it worse because there was no way to see outside that bubble. My friend even did a research paper on cults and cited my club as a modern-day cult. Despite all this, I'm happy now. It didn't kill me, so it made me stronger."
F: "Thank you so much for your vulnerability. I've asked this question many times, and most people say they wouldn't change anything. I appreciate you confronting it head-on and reflecting on how this decision shaped you. It sounds like you're taking steps to live more authentically and cultivate your creative side. I resonate with that because I was lost in college for a long time. It takes courage and energy to do what you're doing."
L: "Thank you. Your words perfectly capture what I meant to say. This experience definitely changed me. My parents and high school friends noticed I was a different person. Sometimes I snap back to my old carefree self, but that innocence is gone. We're both figuring out how to be our most authentic selves, and that's a journey."
F: "Absolutely. You'll continue to figure it out more and more. Thank you for sharing your experience. You've touched on important points for students and families to consider. Berkeley and Haas are amazing institutions, but there's another side to it."
Conclusion
Lisa’s journey through Berkeley Haas offers profound insights into the importance of authenticity and self-acceptance in the college experience. Her story underscores the necessity of understanding one’s true motivations when choosing an academic path, rather than simply aiming for prestige. The intense competitiveness and academic pressures at Haas highlight the need for resilience and ethical integrity, but also reveal the pitfalls of striving solely for external validation. Lisa's reflections demonstrate that authentic self-discovery and pursuing genuine interests are crucial for personal and professional fulfillment. Her experiences emphasize that success in college should not just be about acceptance into prestigious programs, but about embracing one’s true self and passions. These lessons serve as a powerful reminder for students to prioritize self-acceptance over college acceptance, fostering a more authentic and fulfilling educational journey.